pate

I remember the first time I looked into the brown eyes of my shetland sheepdog, Pate.  It was September 1995, and I was a first year pharmacy student.  I definitely didn't have the time or the money to care for a pet, but I spontaneously purchased the pup from a nonreputable breeder in Memphis, TN.  He was the runt of the litter of Miss Mischief with White Toes and Mister Beau Zeau.  The breeder had nicknamed all the puppies, and Pate's first name was Leaf.

I remember the drive home on the fast Memphis freeway with little Pate in my lap.  Peyton Manning was on the radio discussing something about college football as he was the quarterback for the Vols.  I thought Pate sounding like a great name for a dog, and I named him "Lil' Boy Pate."

I brought him home to my apartment in Memphis, TN that I was sharing with Carrie my roommate (and also not a dog lover).  What a bad roommate of me to buy this dog knowing Carrie and how she felt, but I pushed on in my usual way.  Carrie and Pate started a relationship with another that consisted of Pate eating lipstick left on the floor, etc...  We laugh about it now, but honestly Carrie...  you endured a lot from a little rambunctious puppy who destroyed a lot.

We moved to a highrise apartment.  More funny stories about Pate going out on the balcony and just peeing as he didn't want to take the eleven story elevator ride to the ground to the tiny bit of grass outside.  The fake outdoor carpet would do.  It was a riot but not good for neighbor relations.

Pate and I moved out to Bartlett with my friend Dana.  Dana ended up becoming my sister-in-law as she married my brother though they divorced seven years later.  Dana and Pate bonded though Dana admitted as Carrie she wasn't a dog person.

Time moves on and I look back thinking about what Pate has meant to me and what we have been through.  He was with me during my four years of pharmacy school.  He licked my tears during a big breakup and the breakup of my first marriage.  He is my buddy and my best friend even now.

In July 2002, Pate was diagnosed with Cushings disease and I immediately sought out an internal specialist vet who would help to guide me into getting his disease under control.  I spent a lot of money on tests, etc...  We put him on Lysodren for a couple of years until he became resistant and then moved to Vetoryl.  He is still on vetoryl today though I haven't had his levels tested lately.  I've become more lax with it all due to Pate's age (13) and having the new baby. 

Over the past year I have to carry Pate more.  He's not able to walk on the hardwood floor very well.  He still pants a lot.  He still wants to follow his mommy into every room regardless how long it takes.  Last week I took him to the vet because he has some sort of anal gland issue going on.  Did I mess up by mentioning euthanasia?  The vets there seem to be bringing it up again since.  I had to take him back yesterday and now he's on antibiotics. 

I'm not ready to put Pate down.  I asked him yesterday to let me know when he's ready.  He is still wagging his tail and eating and hanging out.  Is it time?  How will I know? 

I'm not ready to lose my best friend yet.  We still have to have time.