thoughts

It must be so frustrating to not be able to get the information that you need when you need it. I laugh at the whole prospect, not only because is there no real 'meat' behind the claim(s), but the narcissicm that continues to grow within feeling that the information should be privy immediately. Everything else out there in the world is catered to immediate gratification. Fast food, online shopping, whitepages.com.

Christmas is well on its way, and I can hardly believe it. My thoughts dart to and fro between DT passing away on 10/20 and the well-being of MT, JL, and MT's daughter (9 yrs old) all the way to what people want for Christmas. I wish for once that gifts weren't really a part of it. Not because I don't want to spend the money, because I so enjoy shopping, but because it's a wash. I suppose that if the information was /there/ right when I need it... I would know the perfect gift(s). We even need to be thinking about taking our team at work out for lunch or having something nice. I think I will have to come up with something. I talked to the neighbor last night for awhile about the loss of someone through cancer. It's not easy.

Then we look at all the petty things in the world, the race to lose weight, to buy the best car, to have the biggest home, to have the best hair-do, to watch those reality shoes where they nip and tuck here and there, going under the knife for perfection, and on and on and we lose focus on what /really/ matters.

What matters is this... I watched her on the hospital bed and heard her whisper to him about going to church. It's not about going to church just to /go/ but it's the something to believe in. And not just /any/ something. There is a void that each of us have deep within us that can only be filled by God. Look around and notice those that are desperately trying to fill the void with other things... you see drug addiction, alcoholism, severe low self esteem... and on and on... where does it end? At the end of your life, if you so have the time to know the end is near and it's not a sudden death, I think EVERYTHING becomes crystal clear. It's God. And it's not about going through this life with the same stigma of those that are so out there with religion, it's about the personal, when no one is watching, one-on-one time that is spent with Him. He never moves or changes and is like a Rock to lean on. A dad to cry with; Someone to believe you when you say that I need help. Dumping thousands of dollars into counseling could never amount to what can be obtained with trust and faith. Just my two cents.

Our Christmas party is this Saturday night. I have a black suit I bought from Ann Taylor that is pretty cute. Maybe I've already said this, but I bought some heels, too. I swore up and down that I would NOT under any circumstance wear the pointy toe shoes when they came back in style and here I am wearing them. Thinking they are hot. What is the matter with me? What are my toes thinking? *laugh*

JL and I are going to get all the Christmas stuff up this weekend, too....