pate news...

I know. He's just a dog, and a dog is not guaranteed a very long life. Ten years if a large dog; maybe 15 if small. In the scheme of things that amount of time can pass almost like a blink of an eye. And so it has for Pate and me.

I remember the day I bought Pate like yesterday. I remember the first time I jumped up and down in the snow cheering like mad while noticing the light bulb going off in Pate's head. He never messed in the house again. He never marked. I remember the walks we used to take before his Cushing's took away that ability. I'm so sad because it's passed all too quickly. I'm sad that we're in the last few days of his life. I can tell that it won't be long and I'll spare him a painful death.

I plan to hold him as they administer the lethal injection of pentobarbital. I dread it. The thought now makes me so sad and shudder with the thought of life without Pate.

He's been put on tramadol three times daily which is making him more lethargic. His quality of life is definitely diminishing. I've finally got in touch with the vet I trust the most and hopefully meeting with him tomorrow if I find someone to work for me for two hours. I know that if he tells me it's time, I can do this. I can do the right thing and give him the dignity in crossing over that he deserves rather than struggling here.

Oh God! Help me! The thought without him, my best friend, is a thought I don't want to entertain but fairly soon will be my reality.

I really pray that dogs go to heaven. Please tell me they do. I hope he's waiting on me :(