liquid gold

Well finally!  I haven't really gone into detail here about the struggles of nursing my son.  Suffice it to say that we brought little L home, and I fully expected to regain back the time we lost in the NICU AND him latch perfectly.  Wrong.  L would not latch and was not interested.  By this point, two weeks post partum, I had already become a pumping mommy.  I knew nothing about pumping, but I learned fast that you have to pump every 2-3 hours in the beginning (just as a baby will nurse).  I was producing a TON of milk.  I froze every drop we didn't use in a freezer in the garage.  

The journey we went on included many visits to a wonderful lactation consultant named Jane Kershaw at Centennial Hospital and also persistence.  Every time I would go see Jane, I would find some hope though L would scream and cry and want nothing to do with the breast.  Can't blame the little guy!  Every time I would ask Jane, "How much longer do you think it'll take?"  I would constantly imagine quitting.  I would set goals that would be another week, month... even so low I would think... just one more day.  I have to add though, the hormones really heightened everything because in hindsight, formula would have been fine as well.  (I was formula fed!)  I think part of my worry was that L could be our only child.  I wanted to experience nursing if possible.

L finally latched just at 4 months old.  I learned how to stop logging every mL produced, and I stopped pumping more than 2 times a day.  I'm still having to do a little, but it does allow me to have a freezer stash.  I am thinking right now I have about 320 ounces or so.  

I am happy to say that all of that pumping and pain of not sleeping trying to latch him, etc... has an even better ending.  Not only has he latched a little over a month ago, but I have found an adoptive mother who relactated for her new son and is still only making a third to half of his daily needs.  I am donating all that milk which represents a lot of dedication and hope to them this week.  I'm so glad about it!  I do know he is a Vietnamese baby, and I hope the liquid gold fares him well!

four month goal reached

Let's talk about the great success that has finally happened for my son and me.  As you know, our son was born at 36 weeks gestation.  He spent about 8 days in the NICU, and I began the laborious process of pumping with a breast pump.  I wanted to give him the very best start in life and considering even the formula companies state "breastmilk is best," I decided to make that sacrifice.  My goal all along was to get him to nurse, and after the emotional rollercoaster of wondering if it would EVER happen, I began joking about the possibility.  I learned to appreciate that I could "see" how much L was getting.  I could see 3 oz or 4 oz and could try to push more in the evening to help shape a better sleeping pattern.  (I will say not for sure now if that has anything to do with sleep). 

I went to a lactation consultant at Centennial Hospital and let me say that I found their services to be the most helpful in lactation.  They had me hooked up with a rental hospital Symphony pump which I rented for 2 months.  I then purchased a Medela Freestyle.  Life did improve with the Freestyle.

I am happy to announce today at four months of age that L is nursing exclusively except for the occasional bottle.  Considering I have about 50 bags of 8 oz each breastmilk frozen, I don't think I have to worry about running out anytime soon. 

Earlier on, my goal was to pump for six months tops.  I always said that if he ever latched on and actually could nurse, I would go a year.  I'm a third of the way to a year.  Was it really that long ago?  Could I really sacrifice another 8 months?  The downside for me is running.  It's difficult running right now...  I'm way too top heavy and the Enell running bra (a.k.a. bulletproof vest) isn't fun.  Perhaps it'll get easier adjusting to him nursing and stop pumping.  Right now, I'm making about 1 1/2 day of milk per day.  WAY too much.

So far I'm loving motherhood.  I love my life.  I love my husband and L.  He's been the best baby, so entertaining, and so much love that I cannot imagine loving anyone more than my husband and son.  Family is really where my heart resides...