two month letter

It’s nice to be here today… 7 weeks with more progress on breastfeeding. I just pumped out less than an ounce on the right breast when I usually get about 2-3 oz… You are definitely making progress. I went to Target today and forgot my diaper bag and actually had to nurse you to get you to stop crying hiding in the back of the SUV. For one brief moment, I felt like a regular breastfeeding mom. For a second. Yesterday I pumped 30 oz. That’s pretty huge at this point, especially considering I nursed you a lot too - I should say I tried. If I’m not careful, the garage freezer will become a breastmilk storage! I read a funny article about breastmilk for sale… I suppose if the economy continues to tank, I could always sell breastmilk! LOL

Hubby is going out of town for 6 nights straight starting this Friday, and I’m really dreading it. My mother is going to stay with me a lot this weekend, but I know it wears her out during the week to come over here at night. A friend of mine is coming over one of those nights, just after work until mid evening or so… but every little bit helps. It’s the sleep I need more than anything. Like now. I’m sitting here typing when I should be sleeping. You’d think they’d come up with a pill that would make you feel refreshed like you have slept a full night. I’d buy a ton of it….

You are a joy. You are growing right before our eyes. Your coloring has changed to normal, you smile a little bit while awake instead of just while sleeping. You still require a bottle, but I keep on trying. I'd like to make it to 6 months. The first lesson in sacrifice.

Your Nana and Papa really love you, too. They moved here just for you in December and really enjoy spending lots of time with you. You've really made our family better!

I’m not really good at making and adhering to schedules. In fact I’m more of a “fly by the seat of my pants” kind of girl. It’s tough for me to set an alarm clock for every 3 hours to pump. It’s not as hard now you because I am letting the schedule go that was given to me by a lactation consultant… I’m listening for you to tell me when you are hungry, etc… However, due to the lack of consistent breastfeeding, I have to pump or lose my supply. The clock is ticking… 3-4 more weeks of this before I make the big decision - exclusively pump or formula? Who would have thought breastfeeding would be so hard? Today it feels like I have knives inside my breasts. Not too much fun.

You are doing alright. Lately, you've had a belly ache (I think?) and have fooled me into thinking your hungry only to eat more and spit up. I think it could be the di.flucan I’m taking for the nipple thrush? I do know it can get in milk and cause gastrointestinal upset. You also have an umbilical hernia. It's rather severe right now but apparently resolves on its own.

Tomorrow, we’re going back to the hospital where you were born to meet with the lactation consultants there. I think I’m done with the one I’ve been using. I called her yesterday and she’s yet to call me back AND recommended Avent bottles containing BPA that I bought. The one at the hospital told me to throw them out and go back to the haberman.